Diary of a disillusioned woman - Jan 12

Ok. I know many will get so mad at me at this point, but here goes. Tony and I are back together. There, I said it, and I'm not making any apologies for it. I can't help myself; I love him so much. I understand that the alcohol got the better of him, and who am I to pass judgment considering the state I myself was in?
I met him today in Westlands and he looked such a mess. He told me that he was so sorry and that he had not managed a wink of sleep since 2nd, when he realized what he had done. I thought it was really sweet seeing him tormented and distraught all on account of what he had done. Besides, I really had missed him. I told him that we could try again, but on condition that something like that never happens again. You should have seen the relief on his face; it was as if I had just handed him a life line.

Diary of a disillusioned woman - Jan 6th

Should I even listen
Should I even try
Will I just be hearing the same old lines
Baby
See it doesn't matter
What you say this time
Cause our whole relationship
Is built on one lie
You say things aren't the way they seem
But still you can't come straight with me


I mulled over those words. I felt that Toni Braxton was speaking to me in her song Love Should Have Brought You Home Last Night. I took another sip of the chilled Simonsig white wine and sunk a little lower into the bath tub. The water had become tepid but I didn't notice until much later.

How can you think that you're in love
When you don't know the meaning of

Love shoulda brought you
Brought you
Home last night
You shoulda been with me
Shoulda been right by my side
Baby
If you cared anything for me
Then love woulda brought you
To me last night


I still was not talking to Tony.

Diary of a disillusioned woman - Jan. 1

Happy f***ing New Year. A toast to the worst beginning in history. I can't believe that I am here all by myself. Yet again, why am I even surprised? Anthony is capable of anything.
I'm sitting in K1, looking around me, watching couples kiss and hug and wish one another love in the coming year. I am all alone. In K1. I have been trying to call Anthony for the last two and a half hours but nothing. He is drunk and passed out somewhere in Westlands with his "friends". Some tramp actually had the guts to pick up the phone and tell me to stop calling him "coz I will wake him up." Wake him up? He has passed out in a club! What amount of noise could his ringing phone make so as to rouse him, compared to that din in the club?
Earlier today, Tony called me and asked me to meet him in K1 for dinner and then we would later go out. It was his way of apologizing for the shouting match we had several days earlier. My initial reaction was to refuse, but after much pleading and cajoling, he managed to convince me to meet him. I insist I agreed, albeit reluctantly.
Dinner was to be at 9 p.m. I arrived at K1 at 9.30, knowing very well that Tony did not have a punctual bone in his body. True to form, he had not arrived. I decided to find a table and order a drink as I waited for him. A live band was playing jazz on one side. On the other, a chef was vigorously tossing and turning some pieces of chicken in an attempt to keep up with the orders coming his way.
At 10, I called him and impatiently told him that I had been waiting and I was already fed up. He apologized and promised to be here in the next twenty minutes. "And not a minute more," were my snarled words as I hang up.
Eleven o'clock. The optimist in me was slowly losing hope. I ordered a meal and told the waitress to keep the martinis coming. Seeing as I was so mad at Tony, I may as well be plastered by the time he got here.
Midnight, January 1st: Happy f***ing New Year. I lifted my glass high in the air and said, "I love life and loathe men! A toast to all the single ladies," as I took a swig of my martini and promptly threw up on the pool table.
Nat and Vierra, two high school friends of mine, just happened to walk in and witness me making an absolute fool out of myself. Vierra took me to the ladies and left Nat negotiating with the club bouncers who wanted to throw me out. In the ladies, I broke down and told Vierra that I wanted to go home.I had had enough.